2018 has been a life transforming year for me.  Going from an individual trapped by mental and physical illness as well as the stresses of being a single mum; to a full-time worker, happy family life and an overall more positive outlook on everything!  I definitely feel moving into 2019 I am a completely different person than I was coming into 2018, and all for the better.

How did I achieve this?  Well I made these simple 10 changes in my life.

 

1. Putting myself first, not others

I have spent so much of my life pleasing everyone else that by the time it got round to spending time with and on me there was none left.  I felt drained and unmotivated, just wanting to sleep away any free time I had.  This then had a knock-on negative effect whereby I became resentful of all the time I was giving to others, and it made me snappy and unhappy with life.

Then in August I made the decision to start putting myself first, and make time for me every day, by ending each day with a bath.  It may not sound like much but making myself have a bath and relax for a bit has given me time to unwind.  It is quiet time that no one else can interrupt me during and I could do what I wanted.  It started with me just relaxing, but now I find myself doing a variety of things from reading a chapter in a book to doing a meditation or listening to a motivational podcast.  I see this as my time, and I now have this bath out of habit and routine giving myself a chance to unwind daily.

 

2. Not aiming for perfection

With the media being as it is now, especially social media there has become a “need” to live this perfect life.  Everyone snaps a picture of that perfect moment to post on Facebook or Instagram, or posts that perfect daily quote on Twitter.  But realistically who lives a “perfect” life?  No one!

The media has always been great at glamorising the need for perfection, whether that be with your body image, the clothes you wear or what your children should be doing etc.  But trying to live up to these standards is near on impossible!  Even the most glamorous of supermodels will have their bad hair days, or children throwing temper tantrums round the house.  This is just normal everyday life.

So now I embrace exactly that.  I acknowledge how I feel about my day and go with the flow of it.  If my hair isn’t right then so be it.  I may put a hat on if I need to go out, but I don’t stress about it in the long run.  Having bad hair doesn’t effect my ability to parent my children and they aren’t bothered by bad hair just as long as they can get cuddles and tickles.

 

3. Being comfortable in my clothes

I’m not saying that I have never felt comfortable, but before children I definitely felt the need to dress a certain way or live up to a certain image.  I wanted to look good all the time, and stand out in a crowd.  Now that’s not to say I don’t want to look good now, but I have definitely changed my perspective on comfort!

Being a mum of 2 under 4 not having to worry about my arse hanging out when I bend over is essential!  lol!  Running around after them means tight clothes just do not work.  Give me a pair of jeans or leggings and a nice baggy jumper and I’m happy.  It’s simple, comfortable and practical.  I don’t have much flab but the flab I do have I don’t want on show, so short t-shirts have also become a thing of the past.

 

4. Keeping my house in order and clutter free

As a single mum with a huge craft addiction you can only imagine what my house could have looked like!  And at some point it most definitely did and still does from time to time!  But I also found the mess overwhelming at one point.  I couldn’t work out where to start when it came to cleaning because the mess was just everywhere!

But I buckled down on a few child-free weekends and got the house back into order.  I knew it wouldn’t take much I just needed the motivation to do it.  Now it is sorted I make a point of keeping on top of the mess and not let it overwhelm me.  That being said there are days when the house gets untidy for various reasons, but I take a deep breath and deal with the messy situation knowing that there is a light at the end of that tunnel and it is all good.

Another element of this I have found is that I will regularly go through my girls toys and get rid of things they aren’t playing with anymore.  This doesn’t mean that I necessarily throw loads of things away, but I will clear down on things like magazines that have been scribbled on and ripped up so can no longer be used properly, or cheap toys from MacDonald’s that are just naf get put in the bin.  If there are some nice toys that aren’t being played with I may put them out of the way for the time being, or sell them if they are no longer age appropriate for them.  This regular sort out allows for the clutter to keep to a minimum as well which is heavenly.

 

5. Being more productive

Being at home all the time, I thought I would be so organised and everything in the house would be done all the time.  Oh how wrong was I!  In fact I found being at home made it so much harder for me to get into a routine.  Getting up at the same time and then having the same routine just wasn’t the case because my children would wake up at different times and there wasn’t really a routine in place for them because of their age.  Even nap time varied from day to day!

Therefore I had to find ways to motivate myself to stay productive.  In the early days it was too easy for me to sit down and play with the kids believing that nothing else mattered and that I would have time when they were asleep.  The reality of it was that when we stopped playing and they fell asleep, all I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa and put my feet up; maybe even nap myself!  Suddenly I found the housework was piling up, and I was getting behind on the washing.  Something had to give.

Working out times when it was actually ok to let the children play by themselves so I could get some housework done really helped.  And I also found ways of getting them involved in the tidying up process, especially when it was their toys.  They have to learn responsibility and I guess you are never too young to learn that so why not involve them.  Now not only is it routine for them to help tidy their toys away I have found time for me to be productive without it impacting on my own private quiet time.

 

The final five will be in the next post as I felt there was a lot to take in and it was too overwhelming in one list.  If you have any comments about what has been shared so far please do get in touch, I love to hear from my readers.